CHANGES
by WorshipTheLight LiveForTheTwi
Summary: Edward left Bella alone and vulnerable. But with the help of her friends, she is finally starting to see clearly what is in front of her and including seeing one of her friends in a new light. Mike has been in love with Bella from day one. Sure he was a douche but he has had a lot of time to grow up. Can Mike prove that he has changed? Will Bella open her heart to new love?
1. Chapter 1

**Okay here is the first chapter of my new story, the one I am most excited about, Changes. It is a Mike and Bella story but I have high hopes that once people start getting into it they will love it. **

**I want to thank you betas, dreamer1438 and lavyalice. Thank you so much for taking a chance on this story. I hope you enjoy it. I dedicate this chapter to the both of you. **

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Dream Girl Dreams

"Oh Mike, I love you so much. I can't believe it took me this long to figure it out. I have loved you for so long." She said breathlessly between kisses. I kissed her again, not being able to get enough.

I have dreamt of this moment since day one and now here I was kissing my dream girl and she was kissing me back. Her soft lips opened to let me in and I took in the taste of her. I was never one for cinnamon but I think it just became my new favorite spice. She tasted of cinnamon, brown sugar, vanilla and crisp apples. Just like apple pie. Damn I could do this forever.

"It doesn't matter anymore, just as long as I have you now, the rest doesn't matter. You have no idea how bad I want you, need you. I love you so much. I have always loved you." I told her hugging her petite frame close to me. My hands reaching around her waist, touching the bare skin of her back, her skin was maddeningly soft.

"You do have me. You will always have me Mike, from now on." She whispered kissing her way down my neck. A groaned escaped me as I gripped her sides pulling her impossibly closer. I worked hard to fight the arousal she was causing, not wanting to send the wrong message, or maybe the right message. But I would not go any further until she gave me permission and as if reading my mind she did.

"Mike, I need you. Now, please." She panted out pulling back to look at me.

"Baby, are you sure?" I asked not wanting to get my hopes up. I searched her eyes looking for any sign of doubt and found none.

"Yes, I am sure. Make love to me Mike." She whispered out huskily.

Not wanting to keep her waiting, I ravaged her sweet tasting lips with everything I had. She tasted like warm apple pie, she tasted like home. Her tiny fingers rushed to undo the button of my jeans, before pulling at the hem of my shirt trying to get it off. After she had yanked it over my head, she tossed it over her shoulder before starting on her own shirt. I reached for her hands and stopped her.

"Slow down baby. We got all night and I am going to make this night as special for you as possible." I promised her as I kissed her forehead lightly, then her cute little nose and her swollen bright pink lips before picking her up and laying her on the bed.

I slowly worked the buttons on her shirt, kissing each inch of skin as I exposed it. Her creamy breasts were staring at me in the eyes inside of a pale pink silk bra. I kissed my way down her flat soft stomach, until I got to the fly of her jeans. Popping the button, I started tugging them down her slender hips revealing matching panties. I was painfully hard at this point but wanting to take my time, so that we both would enjoy this. I have dreamed of this moment as long as I could remember.

As soon as her pants were gone I kissed my way back up, starting with the arch of her foot to the underside of her knee, to her exposed hip bones, her belly button, each covered nipple, her collar bone , her jaw and finally her lips.

"Oh Mike." She moaned as I tasted the skin of her neck. I positioned my body between her legs carving out my permanent spot with her. Her fingers threaded through my hair digging into my scalp, but I could care less. Her hips moved to grind up into me. I groaned into her neck which made her hiss in pleasure and wrap her legs around me.

"Mike… Mike… Mike…" she continued to moan. But I started to notice that her voice was changing. It was no longer the soft husky tone that I loved, but a quizzical one. Her fingers were no long in my hair but shoving at my arms.

"MICHAEL!"

My eyes snapped open and I looked up into the irritated face of my mother. Well that's a cock blocker and a half. I sat up quickly, making my head spin but looked around all the same. I was in my room, alone, with my stereo blasting and a text book lying open on my chest. Fucking A it was another dream. I can't believe this. I looked back up at my mother and the blood rushed to my face at her cocked eye brow.

"Sorry ma, I must have fallen asleep." I said sheepishly. She nodded with a smirk. I ignored it and got situated on my bed. Closing my book and gathering my papers.

"I see that." She smirked again.

"What did you need?" I asked ignoring her.

"I was wondering if you could do me a favor and drop off Bella's check to her. She is still sick so she hasn't been to work. I figured, since you are feeling better, you could do it. I'm cooking dinner so I can't really leave. It should take you fifteen minutes, unless you are still too sick."

"No, I'm good. But why didn't you drop it off when you got off?" I asked out of curiosity.

"That was the plan." She sighed. "But I put it in my purse and forgot about it until now."

"Yeah, that sounds like something you would do. " I chuckled and I started to put on my shoes.

"Hush, you." She swatted at me smiling. "If you are still sick, I can get your dad to do it when he gets home." She said.

"No, I'm good mom. I don't mind." I told her a little too hurriedly. She smirked again and I ignored her.

"I figured you would say that." She said smugly. I rolled my eyes at her as I tossed on my shirt. "It's on the kitchen counter, along with a container of chicken soup for her. Tell her I said to get well and don't worry about coming in until she feels better." She called out walking back downstairs.

I took my wallet and car keys to follow her. I grabbed the soup and the check and practically ran out the door.

On the drive over to Bella's that dream kept creeping back into my mind. It's not the first time I have had that dream. I dream of Bella every night, Sometimes it's us making love and sometimes it was us being together, laughing and talking or just… being. To be honest those are my favorite dreams. Just being able to hold Bella would be amazing. Don't get me wrong the other types of dreams are amazing. I mean I am an eighteen year old guy and as much as I hate to admit it a good portion of our brain lies in my manly parts. Besides, Bella is hot. It would be… unjust not to have at least some thoughts of that.

The first time I laid eyes on Bella, my mind just went blank, seriously, I was stunned stupid. The only thing I could think of was that; she was the most beautiful thing I had ever seen in my life and I wanted her as badly as I have ever wanted anything in my entire life, no I wanted her more than I ever wanted anything in my life. Her big brown eyes were staring down at her schedule as she chewed on her bottom lip in concentration, her delicate looking fingers twirling strands of her long chestnut colored hair around and around as she switched her weight from one foot to the other nervously. Her body was covered in cloth from head to toe, a giant flannel shirt and too big jeans and a pair of worn converse that just added to her beauty instead of taking away from it.

The first time i heard her voice was like…, and this may sound corny… but it was like hearing angels for the first time. It was soft and sweet but strong and a little sensual. I could listen to her talk forever and never get enough of it. From that moment on i was going to make it my mission to have her. But apparently i was not the only one in on that plan because before i knew what was going on Edward freaking Cullen got on my way. He came out of the shadows like freaking batman and snatched her up. From that moment on, every time the smug son of a… well i won't call him that. From what i hear Mrs. Cullen is very nice. I will only say that the asshole made it his mission to smirk at me whenever he saw me, and he would find some way to touch Bella to get under my skin. If i didn't know any better, i would swear he could read minds. Because he always seemed to know when i was looking at her or even thinking of her.

Oh, and he had Bella wrapped tightly around his little finger. She seemed to always be in a daze whenever she was with him. That is when she wasn't looking at him like he hung the moon stars and the sun. If he said jump, she didn't even ask how high she would just jump and hoped that she got it right, or apologize because she didn't. I have seen it. She was nothing like the girl I saw at the beach that time that we went. The girl from the beach talked, though not much. She laughed and joked just having fun and being a normal teenager. The girl whom Cullen had was quiet to the point of mute, she was reserved to the point of docile, and she dazed to the point of being almost brain dead. I hated that girl. I don't know what he and his weird ass family did to her to bring that out of her, but it was disgusting to watch.

So it was no surprise when I heard that Edward had left town. I just knew that given a few months' time she would be ready to date again, and I could finally make my move and show her what a relationship was supposed to be like. However, that was before my mom got the call that Bella was missing. I didn't wait for an explanation. I threw my shoes on and grabbed my keys and was out the door before she hung up the phone

When I got to the Chiefs house, I heard the whole story. Apparently, Bella went for a walk with Edward in the woods behind the house but hadn't come back yet. I put two and two together and was pissed beyond all recognition. I can't believe that asshole broke up with her in the woods and left her there. How cruel could someone be? My mom and I grabbed a flashlight and went searching. We were out there for hours without much success. By the time we made it back to the Chiefs house, there were some people there from the rez, the chief of the tribe and his son. There were also a few half-naked dudes there, which I thought was weird but didn't question. It wasn't important at the time.

I only had return for about half an hour when we hear a few voices yell outside that they had found her. Chief flew out the door and soon came back in struggling with a despondent Bella in his arms. Looking at her like that broke me. She looked so small and fragile. She was shaking and kept mumbling something that I couldn't make out as he laid her on the couch. Dr. Gerandy rushed over to check her out asking her if she was okay. She responded best she could but soon closed her eyes and turned away from us all. I looked around at everyone and saw my mother with tears in her eyes and the rez guys looking angry.

Soon we all left me reluctantly, and made our way back home. Neither I nor my mom spoke. I thought about Bella all that night, hoping she was okay, wondering if there was anything I could do for her. Little did I know that my feelings for her would start to grow from there.

When she came back to school after being out for a couple of weeks, she was like a zombie. She didn't really talk or interact or anything. She seemed to just be going through the motions, even at work she talked only when necessary. I wanted to badly to help her, but I didn't know how. So I settle for just being there for her anyway that I could. Whether it was covering for her catatonic moments at work or defending her at school when everyone seemed to have something to say about her. Jessica and Lauren were the worst. They were always envious of her relationship with the Cullens and couldn't figure out why he preferred her over them. I could and I made sure to tell them that. Angela was always backing me up when I would go toe to toe with the demon duo.

It has only been recently that I have seen her try to come out of this. It started with little things, sitting with our group at lunch, being more interactive at work things like that. But I think a lot had to do with that kid down in La Push that she started to hang out with. As much as I wanted to be jealous, and believe me, I was. I was just happy that she was starting to live again.

I decided to test the waters with her and ask her to the movies. Okay so maybe I was trying to push it more into a date then just an outing. But you have to at least try She was adamant about it being just a group outing even inviting some of her La Push friends along. So that's how last Friday I ended up on the weirdest triple date in the history of mankind. It turns out no one could make it except, for of course, Jacob Black, the kid she spent time with at the beach. But he looked nothing like he use to. He had filled out impressively. Hey, I was man enough to admit that he was a good-looking kid, and it was a little intimidating. Especially since I could see that he also liked Bella. Great, another guy that I had to watch fawn all over her.

The movie was interesting, and not because of the movie but because both Jacob, and I seemed to both have high expectations with how the night would go. Still things were going better than I thought they were until I started to feel sick. My stomached started to roll, and I started to feel nauseas. I tried to stave it off and just hold on until the end of the movie, but that didn't work. Soon I couldn't stop it, and I run to the bathroom. Puking my guts out, much as the guy in the movie had. That situation made my flipping day perfect. I am finally out on a semi date with my dream girl, and I end up puking all over.

I was sick for a week straight, finally feeling better last night and from what I heard I had given whatever I had, to Bella. That is why I am now parked outside her house, working up the guts to face her again, after that disaster of an outing. I noticed that the Chief's car was gone, meaning he was at work but the light was on in the living room. I took a deep breath before getting out of the car.

"Relax Mike, you are just bringing her, her check and some soup; it's not a big deal. Just relax you can handle a two-minute conversation with her." I gave myself a pep talk on the way up to the stairs.

I knocked twice and waited. I heard a soft hoarse cough before hearing her feet shuffle towards the door. I could make out her form in the window curtain coming closer. I heard her delicate sounding sneeze before she peeked out at me. I gave a half-smile and a half wave when her eyes got bigger. She quickly closed the curtain but waited a few seconds to open the door.

Her hair was in a messy ponytail, her eyes puffy and her nose red, but she was the most beautiful girl in the world to me. She was still my dream girl.

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	2. Chapter 2

**Wow, I want to thank those of you who are reading and supporting this story. I am touched, you don't even know. I hiope you continue to enjoy this story as much as I enjoy writing it. This is just the beginning for Bella and Mike. There road will be spicy and sweet and funny and spicy...lol did I say that twice, oh well. You will see the changes in both of them. We have one more Mike chapter before we hear form Bella for the first time. Like I said, I think, this story will be mostly in Mike's POV since it is a Mike story. But you will be hearing from Bella some as well. You have to hear both sides of the story. there will be characters in it that you know and maybe a few that you don't, I haven't deicded yet. Oh and for those of you who may have wondered. The supernatural does exist in this stories. The vamps are still the vamps and teh wolves are still teh wolves and of course the humans will still be the humans lol. **

**This chapter went unbeta'd because... well I couldnt find my beta. So I hope it is okay grammar and spelling wise. **

**Okay, enough babbling from me, on with it...**

**Song: Better version by Shinedown**

**P.S. the song for the first chapter was If You're Not The One For Me by Daniel Bedingfield, it inspired me to write this. **

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A Beautiful Friendship

There she was. Even sick she was beautiful. Her nose was all red, her eyes were puffy and bloodshot, her hair was in this messing ponytail at the top of her head and her lips were cracked. She was standing and fluffy yellow big bird slippers with a thick quilt wrapped around her small shoulder. I was struck with the desire to hold her and make her feel better. Instead I settled for giving her a wry smile and a half wave.

"Mike… what are you doing here?" she asked in this hoarse voice. Not quite out of my dreams but close.

"Hi Bella. My mom wanted me to drop off your check and she made you some homemade chicken noodle soup. She said she hopes you feel better soon and not to worry about coming in until you do."

"Oh, well thank you and tell her thank you as well." She said reaching for it, clutching the quilt tighter around her. She stopped half way and went into a hacking coughing fit. The strength of it shook her whole frame and she leaned against the wall to support herself but ended up sliding down it to the floor. I sat the bowl and check on the end table by the door and went to her.

"You okay?" I asked, stupidly. Of course she wasn't okay. She was sitting on the floor weakly coughing her head off.

"Yeah… I'm fine… just...tired…and… sick… of….course." she wheezed out between hacks, then took a deep shaky breath and closed her eyes.

I sighed and picked her up off the floor, enjoying the feel of her in my arms despite the circumstances, and carried her to the couch after I kicked the door shut. I laid her down gently and pulled another cover from the back of the couch over her, tucking her in.

"Stay right there. I am going to go heat up the soup for you and make you a cup of tea." I told her.

"Oh, you don't have to do that. I can do it myself, just give me a minute. I don't want to hold you up." She said trying to sit up. I gently pushed her back down.

"I insist. Just lay back and relax. I will be back in a minute."

I grabbed the bowl and headed to the kitchen heated up the soup and put on the tea kettle. When everything was done, I set it up on a tray for her with a glass of juice and some cold medicine I found on the counter.

I took everything in to her and set it on the coffee table. She was still lying in the same spot but she was asleep. Damn she was adorable. She had curled herself into a ball and her hands were tucked under her head, lightly snoring. I smiled and tucked her in a little tighter. I don't know what compelled me to do it but I leaned in and placed a kiss on her forehead, right at her hair line.

"Sweet dreams Bella." I whispered before leaving, locking the door behind me.

"Thank you… Santa… for my purple alligator…" She mumbled and turned over. "No… no biting purple alligator…put your diaper on…"

I chuckled on my way out the door. Bella was unlike any girl I have ever met. She was smart, and sweet. She wasn't worried about the normal high school drama. In fact she spent most of her time trying to avoid it. She truly cared about people and was always willing to lend a helping hand, no matter what it was. Bella doesn't know this but I actually met her before she moved here. It was a couple of years ago. I had just moved here myself a year before my freshman year. Anyway, she was visiting her dad for the summer when I first saw her at the age of fifteen.

She was in the park sitting and reading a book, sipping on a juice box. She looked so calm and peaceful just reading. She had just laughed loudly at some part she was reading when two kids, about four, started crying. Her head snapped up and she looked at them. She set down her book and ran over to the two of them.

'_Aww… what's wrong?' she asked sweetly._

'_That big kid over there bwoke my shobel. Now we can' build owe sand casel.' The smallest said in his small voice, still crying._

'_Oh, well that's okay. We can still build one. Let's just use our hands. Okay?" she told him sitting with the kids. _

_Together they worked on building a sand castle molding the sand and intermittently pouring small amounts of water over it so that it would still together. She spent the whole afternoon with them playing and laughing. They kids loved her and when it was all done they had made one very oddly shaped castle but they were all proud of themselves. She then walked the children back to their mother and gave them each a hug before going back to her book. _

I had just gathered up the nerve to talk to her then when her father came to collect her. It was a missed opportunity, the first. The second was a few weeks later, when she came into the shop with the Chief. He was looking for new fishing equipment and she was browsing. She came down the aisle that I was in just looking but she hadn't spotted me. She was in a pair of tiny jean shorts, a yellow tank top and some flip flops. Her hair was in a high ponytail showcasing her high cheek bones and her long graceful neck.

She was getting closer to me when she tripped over her foot and started to fall. I ran forward and caught her just before she hit the ground. My hands wound around her waist as I pulled her back up. She looked up at me, placing her hands on my arms to steady herself. That beautiful blush lit up her face in embarrassment as she thanked me softly. Even then I felt tingles and it, along with her, stunned me silent. I could only nod as I let her go. Her father called out to her and she smiled at me before turning and scurrying off to him. I let out a breath I had been holding, that I hadn't know I was holding, and leaned against the shelf in dizziness. I wasn't sure if it was her or the not breathing that had done it for me but I did know that regardless, she had an effect on me that no one ever had.

I walked silently down the aisle and caught sight of her at the register with her dad. She was smiling brightly at him and nodding at what he said practically giddy. He chuckled shaking his head at his daughter when she launched herself at him, hugging him around the middle. I watched them, well her really, until they left the store.

The third missed opportunity was at the close of that summer, before she was on her way back home to her mother. She and Charlie were at the diner for dinner and I was there with a few friends from school. I had spotted her before she even entered; it was like I was attuned to everything about her. She carefully made her way through the thoroughly busy diner to a booth in the back with Charlie following right behind her.

It took everything I had not to watch her like some creepy stalker. But I couldn't help taking looks at her throughout dinner. Soon my friends and I got up to leave but had to pass by their table on the way out. Charlie stopped us as soon as we got close. Asking us what we were up too. My tongue seemed to be tied so I let Tyler take over that conversation while I stole more glances at Bella. She was hiding her face and playing with her napkin avoiding drawing attention to herself, little did she know that I would always be paying attention to her.

Charlie finally introduced us to her, in turn. I waved when he said my name. She blushed and smiled but remained quiet through it all. Tyler and Eric were talking to Charlie and I had just opened my mouth to ask Bella how she enjoyed her visit when the waitress came with their food and we had to leave. I swear this town is full of cock blockers.

That was the last time I had seen her until she moved here last spring. Since then it has been one missed opportunity after another. I could have reminded her of who I was that I had already met her on a couple of occasions before. I could have talked more to her when we were at the beach last year, but Jessica was stuck to me like white on rice and then Jacob showed up and they went off somewhere. I could have tried to befriend her sooner, like before Cullen got his claws into her. But by the time I had finally asked her out she was already with him, not that I knew at the time, and she damn near insisted that I go out with Jessica.

Stupid me, I did just that and haven't really been able to get rid of her ever since. Don't get me wrong, Jessica can be a very nice girl… very nice, if you know what I mean, but she just wasn't my type. I feel bad about that for so many reasons, one of them being that I led her on. Apparently she had liked me for a while, like since I first started Forks high but I never really gave her the time of day. And then karma bit me in the ass, because pretty much how I treated Jess through the years is how Bella treated me. She acknowledged my presence only minimally. Saying hi or having a passing conversation but not really paying any attention to me. So I decided to give Jessica a chance. Hoping against hope that maybe she could help me get over my crush, or whatever it was, that I had on Bella.

It didn't work. I thought about Bella constantly. Wondering what she was doing, if she was with Cullen, if she ever thought about me even a little. Then can my ultimate fuck up. I took Jessica to the homecoming dance and afterwards we lost our virginity together. It happened in the back of my car on the cliffs by the reservation. It was embarrassingly short but she didn't complain, she just snuggled up against me afterwards and said she loved me. I froze then. She loved me and I couldn't even tell you if I really liked her liked her. I was a total asshole for that and it will always be a regret for me, because not to long after that we broke up. She became clingy and I couldn't handle it.

Bella had grown closer to Cullen and apparently his family as well, she stopped sitting with us all together unless the Cullen's were on one of their excursions then she was sit with us. By then Jessica and I had settled into a weird friendship. She called it friends with benefits; I called it a big ass disaster. It is no excuse, but I was a horny seventeen year old kid and she was willing participant. It only lasted a few weeks before her so called best friend let me in on a little secret. It seemed Jessica was obsessed with trying to keep me to herself. She was planning on sabotaging the box of condoms she kept in her nightstand so she could get pregnant. Hey I didn't say the girl was smart or even riddled with common sense. As soon as I learned of that plot I stopped all contact between us.

She did the typical girl thing and cried to anyone who would listen, gaining sympathy and making me the bad guy. That lasted throughout the summer but when school started back up everyone forgot about me and the focus went right back to Bella and Cullen again. I remembered how my heart ached every time I saw them together and how Edward would always look smugly at me whenever he would see me, fucking prick. And then Bella's birthday happened.

Seeing how bad off she was, changed me. I knew that I couldn't carry on acting like I was. Leading girls on and then letting them go as soon as they were no longer of use to me. It was wrong and someone could really get hurt. Look at Bella. She put her heart and trust into someone who wasn't worth the time of day and in the end she got trampled on not only by her boyfriend but by his family as well.

I was popular, yes. I was handsome, or at least I thought I was. Hey it's not vanity it's just confidence that I don't look like a total dog. I was smart, smarter than a lot of people think I am. And I was in good shape. Hell I worked out at the gym three times a week and I run four times a week. I play during baseball season, football season, basketball season and I even play on a summer volleyball team. I was active to a fault. I had goals in my life that I wanted to achieve and I was working n them now. I knew exactly where I was headed and how I would get there. But up until that moment I was a complete douche in all other aspects. I treated girls like they were toys, prizes to be won; I treated my friends as if they were expendable, and only hanging with them when I had something to gain from it.

It an extent I was acting just like the Cullens, only looking for my benefit in it all. That changed after Cullen left. I started becoming a true friend, I apologized to Jessica about how I treated her, not that it helped improve our friendship. She always was a bit shallow. I vowed to never go back to that Mike, the Mike who gave a damn about no one but himself. I vowed to be worthy to be with Bella, if she would ever have me.

A knock on my window alerted me to the fact that I was actually home. I don't know how long I had been sitting in my car; the sun had started to go down so it must have been a while. I looked up to see my mother looking at me in concern.

"Mike, are you alright? You have been out here an awfully long time." She said. I nodded and got out of the car.

"Yeah, I'm fine mom. Sorry." I shrugged. She searched my face before nodding in acceptance.

"Okay. Well you have call and dinner is ready."

"Oh. Who's on the phone?" I asked slinging my arm around her shoulders and walking us both to the front door. I had my mother by a few inches I would say. She wasn't short by any means. She cleared five nine easily but I was at six three now so I was still head and shoulder over her. I was even taller than my dad who was only six foot even.

"Bella." She smirked. I stopped myself front sprint over the threshold and to the phone. Instead I walked casually over to it as if it was no big deal. "You're not fooling anyone, Michael." She chuckled heading back into the kitchen. I ignored her and answered the phone.

"Hello?"

"_Hi Mike. I just wanted to thank you again for dropping off my check and the soup it was really good. Oh and thank you for taking care of me, I mean for laying me down and fixing my soup and stuff for me. I really appreciate it." _She said almost completely silently.

"It's no problem Bella. I was happy to do it. On all accounts." I told her. There was silence on both sides. I was racking brain, willing it to work, for something to say. "So how are you feeling anyway? After your nap and the soup, I mean." I sighed and rolled my eyes at my corniness.

"_I'm good. I feel a lot better actually. But I still think I am going to be out for a few more days. Actually that is another reason that I called. I don't want to fall to far behind in my work. I have missed way to many days this year, anymore and I won't be able to graduate. I was wondering if you were able to, if you could bring over my missed school work. I want to get somewhat caught up. I mean if you can't I understand. Charlie could probably do it before he goes in tomorrow. But I just- ." _She rambled.

"Bella, it's fine. I have no plans tomorrow. I can grab your stuff and bring it over as soon as school is over. Anything else you need?" I asked smiling excitedly.

"_No, that's all I think. Thank you so much. I really appreciate it." _She sighed.

"Stop thanking me. That's what friends are for right?" I asked.

"_Yeah, I guess it is. So I guess the next time you get sick it will be my turn to bring you sou."_

"Yeah, you could do that. Or maybe just bring me those brownies you made for the bonfire that time. Those things could cure any disease."

"_You remember that?" _she asked with a giggle.

"Are you kidding me? Those things were awesome. I still dream about those every chance I get." Along with other things, I thought silently to myself.

"_I'll have to make you some then to thank you for everything you did today."_

I told you, no thanks necessary. But if you insist, can you put nuts in mine?" I pleaded.

"_I will see what I can do." _She laughed beautifully, followed by a weak cough.

More silence followed…

"_Okay, well I should go. I and still a little tired. I think I will heat up the rest of my soup and head to bed."_

"Okay, you do that. I hope you feel better Bella." I said softly.

"_Goodnight Mike." _

"Sweet dreams Bella." I whispered before hanging up the phone. I turned and saw my mother smiling at me from the doorway.

"What?" I asked trying to look innocent.

"You are just so cute." She squealed. I rolled my eyes at her and headed upstairs to wash up for dinner.

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**Thanks for reading. Don't forget to review!**


	3. Chapter 3

**Alright, here is another **getting to k**now you chapter. **Let me tell you **this chapter gave me heartburn. I seriously wrote, erased adn rewrote this about five times. I thought about just going to Bella but Mike refused to give up on getting his opinion out there for this chapter. But he promised he would let Bella tell her side for the next chapter. Although I am guessing that the rolling pin she hit him over the head with helped that along. Anyway, this is just another glimpse inside Mike's head and his life. I think this came out very well. I hope you like it also. **

**No beta for this chapter. Neither of them ever got back to me and I didnt want ot delay it any further. So any mistakes that you find I am sorry about.**

**The song for this chapter is This Is Your Life by Switchfoot**

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The Life of Mike

Friday. The day everyone waits for. The day every teen is anxious to come. I was just as anxious as the next one, but for different reasons. All day I have been stopping into Bella's classes collecting her work for her. I had called her at lunch to let her know I would be there around six to drop it off since I had track practice after school. There was a really important meet coming up and we were spending every minute we could, getting prepared. I already had to move my workout schedule and classes to the morning. This meant that I was now waking up two hours earlier then I really truly wanted to. But it would be all worth it in the end.

After practice was over and I was successfully able to dodge Jessica strutting around in her cheerleader uniform I dashed out the door and to my car. I had to work hard to maintain the speed limit, God forbid I get caught speeding in my hurry to see Bella… at her father's house… who happens to be the chief of police. I pulled up to the house a little after six and made sure that I smelled alright after my rushed shower. I popped a tic-tac just in case I had evening breath, grabbed my bag and hopped out. I trotted up to the door but before I could knock she opened it and smiled at me. It wasn't a full blown smile but still it was better then what she had been doing.

She looked great, if not a little thinner than normal, in a pair of yoga pants and a giant t-shirt. It made her look smaller somehow but it didn't help to hide the curves that were there. Her hair was pulled up into a ponytail on top of her head and her skin was flushed pink like she had been in the heat a little too long. It was the most color I had seen in a while.

"Hey Bella." I smiled back at her.

"Hi Mike, thanks for doing this. I appreciate it." She said stepping aside to let me in.

"Stop thanking me. It was my pleasure." I told her.

"Oh well I guess you don't want to surprise I made you to thank you then." She smirked as I passed her. I turned to her my smile getting bigger as I sniffed the air and smelled chocolate.

"Well since you went to so much trouble. I wouldn't want to be ungrateful." I shrugged. She laughed and grabbed my hand pulling me into the living room. My heart thrummed at the contact and warmth spread through me.

"Wait where are we going? I thought you were going to give me my surprise?" I almost whined.

"I will. As soon as I get my school work. You can wait that long, right?" she asked with a giggle.

"If I must." I sighed dramatically, with an eye roll. I just wanted to hear that giggle again and I wasn't disappointed.

"Okay. So what you got for me." She said plopping down on the couch and folding her legs. I kneeled down in front of her and opened my bag, pushing back the image of me doing this for a different reason.

"Well, this is all the work they would let you catch up on. Some of the stuff that went on this week apparently is lab work and had to be done in class. But they said that if you get through this then you should be able to take a few quizzes for the other stuff and you will be all caught up." I told her taking out her school work. I forgot to ask if you had all your books, so I just grabbed a few of the leftover books they had in their room for you." I told her.

"Really? Wow Mike, thank you so much. I didn't even think of my books. This is more then I could ask for." She said sincerely with wide eyes.

"I told you. What are friends for?" I shrugged. "So do I get my surprise now?" I asked giddily. She laughed and nodded heading for the kitchen. I followed behind her closely catching a whiff of her mango scented shampoo. I stopped just in time to so that I wouldn't bump into her when she stopped. She reached for a midsized Tupperware bowl, popped the lid and handed it to me. I almost drooled at the sight in front of me.

There were at least fifteen square cut brownies with nuts and added chocolate chips. I couldn't resist taking one and biting into it. I swear I moaned at the taste. It was moist and chewy and still warm. The center was gooey as if she had taken them out just a split second before they were fully down. My eyes closed as I leaned against the counter chewing. I opened my eyes and caught sight of Bella watching me while biting her lip to keep from laughing.

"Hey, no laughing. You have no idea how much I have dreamt of these since that day." I told her. She snorted and then slapped her hands over her mouth. "I mean it. These have starred in some of my naughtiest fantasies." I said completely serious. She was turning red at the effort to not laugh now.

"There was the one where we were running on the beach, hand in hand. Then there was the one with the candle light dinner and we were dancing under the moonlight. But my favorite…" I said taking another bite "was the one where it was our wedding night and this delectable brownie came out in a white negligee and gave itself to me." I said with a far off looking on my face.

She lost the battle and let out a loud guttural laugh. Leaning over, clutching her stomach, tears streaming, can't breathe kind of laugh. I smiled in satisfaction that I was able to do that for her.

"It's nice to see you laugh again." I told her shoving the last bit in my mouth. "It's been too long." I told her. She stopped laughing and blinked at me. "Well, I hope you made you some as well. Because this is going home with me."

"Uh, uhm… yeah. I made some for me and Charlie. I kind of figured you would want to take the whole thing." She smiled shaking off her uncomfortableness.

"You thought right. You better hope I don't lick the bowl clean after I am done. I will already have to put a sign on it saying do not touch. Mike's Precious." I told her making her laugh again. I secured the lid back on it, but not before grabbing another for the road.

"Don't eat all those in one sitting." She told me sternly.

"I won't, I promise. Scouts honor." I smirked holding up my hand in the boy scout sign.

"Were you a boy scout?" she asked quirking her eyebrow.

"No, but I always admired them." I told her. Again she laughed. "I guess I better get going."

"Uh, okay. I'll walk you out."

I sed-wayed to get my backpack before heading for the door.

"thanks for the brownies. I will bring your bowl back in a few days."

"Oh you don't have to do that. Keep it until you finish the brownies." She said getting the door.

"I plan on it, which is why it will take a few days."

She rolled her eyes and shook her head at me.

"well, bye Bella."

"Bye Mike."

I started down the steps only to stop at the bottom and turn back.

"Look Bella. I get that you don't see me the same way I see you and I get that you are still hurting over… everything that has happened. But I just want you to know that if nothing else I really do want to be a friend to you. I think you could use a really good one. And I know you have that kid Jacob down on the res and that is fine. But if you ever just want to talk or not talk or you just want someone to get stupid and hang out with then I can be and would like to be there for you. I mean I know I am no Angela but I can still give you a shoulder to cry on and an ear to listen. I promise I will keep it strictly friendship." I finally said what had been building inside me to say for a while.

Silence followed and I knew my face was probably bright red now.

"Alright, that's all I wanted to say. I guess I will see you Monday. Have a great weekend Bella." I said before rushing to my car. I didn't look back as I drove away almost kicking myself for saying so much. As much as I was annoyed at myself for getting so mushy I was also happy to finally have said something. I just hope she takes what I said to heart.

Saturday morning I woke up at my normal time of six am. I dressed quickly and made my journey to Port Angeles with my duffle bag in tow. I stopped on the way to my favorite restaurant and grabbed my usual protein drink and fruit with yogurt and granola. I got to the YMCA a little after 7:30 and hurried to get dressed so I could stretch before time. At ten 'til I headed into the workout room. Everyone had already arrived and had taken their places. I waved and nodded to a few a few people standing against the wall watching before standing in my spot.

"good morning class." I greeted.

"Good morning sensei." The boys nodded.

"I trust you all have been practicing your movements this past week."

"Yes, sensei." They agreed.

"Good. Let's see how you are all doing. Partner up and practice. I will come around and check on your form." I told them. They all bowed before doing as I said.

I walked around watching, nodding when done right, correcting when done wrong. A few of my students were ready to move on to the next level and I was very proud to suggest this to their parents when the time was right. But of course there were a few who just didn't seem to want to even try to advance. Those were the ones that no matter how much I wanted to I could not recommend they continue in this. There was actually a waitlist of students who wanted a spot in this class but spaces were limited and I was already at capacity. I would also be having a talk with their parents and suggest other options for them. But I knew I could not continue to teach them.

I have been volunteering here and teaching tai Kwan do for beginners for two and a half years, right after I got my Bodan belt, or red belt. I have been studying karate since I was nine years old and continued to do so after I moved. My sensei, who is actually the next level teacher that some of my students will be taking, suggested that I try my hand at teaching it to other kids because of my history.

Back in California I was bullied. Badly. So badly in fact that it landed me in the hospital at nine years old after being jumped by a group of boys, that were a couple of years older than me. I had a fractured arm, a cracked rib and a concussion. My mother was hysterical after it happened and my father… well I had never seen him so angry in my life. The boys were given a slap on the wrist but their parents were fined. After that I was transferred to a private school, where I stayed until we moved.

My mother, actually, is the one who suggested I take a self defense class. My father found a karate class that specialized in children and that is how I started. I fell in love with the sport and even did a few tournaments.

Knowing how it feels to be picked on and bullied, I decided to do for others what karate has done for me. I hand pick my class. I meet with each child get a feel for them and their circumstance before I decide to accept them into my class. Most times I get it right but there are those few instances that I pick the wrong kid. Maybe not wrong but not mature enough to handle this.

After half an hour of watching them spar, I moved into new material. I could tell right away which ones were the ones who would grow, if they have not already done so, to love this sport and made a note to talk to their parent's right after class.

I dismissed them and had my meetings some met with excitement and pride in their child for the effort that was paying off and others met with anger and snide comments about my age and my skill. I knew soon I would have fewer students in class. I promised myself that next time I would choose more carefully. It is something that I always promised myself but this isn't exactly a science and they are children. You never want anyone to feel left out.

I finally got to my own workout in the gym spending half an hour on cardio and an hour on strength. I was just getting ready to get dressed and go home when I literally ran into Jessica Stanley. She jumped out at me from behind a wall. It took everything I had not to sigh in irritation. I used my towel to wipe down my face and hide my eye roll.

"Oh Mike, I didn't know you would be here."

Yeah sure she didn't. like she didn't hear me tell her and everyone at lunch yesterday that I had to teach a class here on Saturday mornings when Tyler asked me my plans for today. Subtlety is not in her vocabulary apparently.

Yeah Jess, I am just finishing actually." I told her trying to bypass her.

"oh really. So am I. I just finished a very hard work out and my muscles are all sore." She pouted. Never mind the fact that her skin was even flushed or glistening from her 'hard workout'. "I could really use a massage."

She batted her lashes, stuck out her chest and moved closer to me. I stepped back a little.

"Uh, yeah. Well I got to go. I need to get to work. See you at school Jess." I called as I rushed off. I didn't need to look back to know she was standing there with her hands on her hips glaring at my back. I could practically feel the lasers shooting from her eyes.

Sunday was a full day for me. I worked from open to close and then went home to study for upcoming test and doing papers. I thought about calling Bella to see how she was doing, my hand even twitched toward the phone a few times. But I resisted the urge. Not being able to concentrate, I finally went down and watched the game with my dad as we waited for my mom to finish cooking.

"Mike, what's this sign on this bowl mean." I mother said, with amusement ringing in her voice, coming into the living room holding my brownies.

"It means what it says." I told her with a shrug. She laughed making my dad look at her like she had three heads.

"What in the world…" he said.

"Dear parents please do not touch my precious. They mean more to me then your lives. I would walk across hot coals for these brownies; I would throw myself in front of a stray bullet for these. More importantly, I would gladly let a kidnapper have his way with the both of you before giving these to him as ransom. Sorry to say but you have both been replaced as the most important things in my life." She managed to get out before she burst into loud laughter. My father soon followed. I felt no shame in my letter and I meant every word of it. Those brownies were really good.

"Son, what's with the brownies? Why are they so special?" My dad asked when he had calmed down enough to ask.

"Why are they so special?" I asked in disbelief. "Those are only the best brownies in the world, no the universe, no the galaxy. Seriously they are absolutely drool worthy. If those brownies were a woman, they would be your future daughter in law." I told them. The laughed again.

"well, where did you get them?" mom asked.

"uh, someone made them for me." I muttered going back to watching the game.

"Oh really. Who?" she asked leaning against the archway.

"Just some one. I helped them out and they made those in thanks." I could feel my ears heating up and heard her chuckle. My dad just shook his head knowing I wasn't going to get away with not telling her.

"And who was that Michael?" she asked again. I sighed and answered.

"Bella. She made them in thanks for me bringing her, her school work." I finally answered.

"Uh huh." Was her answer. "Well I will put your precious back where I found it. Dinner should be ready in fifteen minutes." She went back into the kitchen.

I looked at my dad out of the corner of my eye and saw him smirking.

Monday nothing out of the ordinary happened. Bella was back at school and she sat at our table which she had been doing for a while but she didn't really talk much. She did smile at me though which I found encouraging.

Tuesday I spent most of the day avoiding Jessica. She is really persistent when she wants to be. Bella sat with us again and she talked with Angela mostly. Jessica found a way to sit next to me and kept trying to shove her chest in my face. Finally fed up with it I went to the gym to pick up a game of basketball.

Wednesday Bella did not sit with us, she sat outside by herself and she looked sadder than usual. I wanted to go talk to her and ask her what was wrong but Angela beat me to it. So I sat at my table and glanced out at them every once in a while.

Thursday Bella was back sitting with us and she was even talking more and not just to Angela. I was happy with that but also upset because I had to hurry and eat and meet the track team to discuss our meet tomorrow. I did give Bella a smile and wave which she returned before I left. Again, Jessica glared at me and then at Bella.

Friday was interesting if only because of lunch. Bella was there and she was actually smiling and laughing. It shocked a lot of people. Some of them were just relieved that she was doing better but others couldn't stand to see someone happy. One of those people was Lauren Mallory. For some odd reason she had a vendetta against Bella and wanted to do all she could to bring her down.

"Well I guess her freak mode is over." She muttered loudly so that everyone heard her. Bella stopped laughing and turned to look at her.

"what is your problem with me Lauren? What have I ever done to you for you to hate me so much?" she said loudly and heatedly. "News flash it is not my fault that Tyler didn't ask you to the dance. I didn't force him to ask me."

Everyone was shocked that Bella actually said something. Hell I was shocked that she actually said something. Lauren broke out of her freeze and snidely replied.

"My problem is you. You come here from some big fancy city and think your hot shit. Well you're not. You couldn't even keep Cullen interested in you. He had to flee the state just to get away from you." She snarled. Everyone it seemed became quiet waiting for Bella to reply. She didn't though. She didn't though. She just got up with glistening eyes dumped her tray and left.

"Bella wait." I called standing. But she kept going.

We all heard her truck start up and peal out of the parking lot. I turned a fierce glare on Lauren.

"You're a real bitch you know that. She has never done anything to you to dislike her so much. She is not responsible for people not liking you that was all you. Maybe if you grew a fucking heart you would have more friends than just Jessica." I turned to Tyler then. "I commend you man, for putting up with her shit for so long. But a little advice get out now before she drags you down."

I walked out and debated about whether to follow her. But I figured she would need a minute alone so I settled for a phone call.

"Bella. Call me when you get a chance. I just want to make sure you are okay. Lauren was wrong and cruel to say those things to you. Just so you know, I told her off for it and I am sure that Angela is getting her say in. please call me. I… just call me when you feel like talking."

I hung up and unfortunately continued on with my day.

The meet went great and I placed third in the long jump. That was pretty good for me, I am not much for track but I wanted a sport besides baseball that I could use for conditioning in the spring. Saturday went as usual except I didn't run into Jessica thank God.

I rushed home and took a shower so I could head into work. I was running down the stairs and out to my car when my phone rang. I answered it thinking it was my mom since I was running a little behind schedule.

"Hey ma, I am on my way. Class ran a little over this morning." I rambled as I jumped into my car.

"Hi, Mike? It's Bella."

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**So what did you think? I hope you enjoyed hearing about Mike's life 'til now. ****Next chapter is all Bella and it will show her thought process with everything and what she has been doing this past week while Mike has been staring at his phone willing it to ring lol. **

**Thanks for reading and please review. **


	4. Chapter 4

**A/N. So I decided that I didn't like the last fourth chapter that I posted. So I rewrote it. which is why I haven't updated this story for so long. I had to edit, rewrite and decide what from the first fourth chapter I had that I wanted to use. I think this one flows better with my story. A lot better. **

**I want to thank all of you that have read reviewed and asked for more updates on this story. I really appreciate it. I hope you like with new chapter four as much if not more so then the previous one. **

**Song is still the same Addicted by Kelly Clarkson.**

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Healing

I sat on the edge of the cliff, pissed off and hurting. My mind going through all the ways I could murder Lauren Mallory without getting caught. Being a cop's daughter paid off sometimes. I really don't understand why she hates me so much. I had no intention of moving here and usurping her throne. If she wanted to be the most popular, the most watched and the most admired more power to her. She was already queen b, the b standing for bitch. I wonder if I was to bring her here and accidentally bump her off the cliff if I would be charged for that, or if it would be considered an actual accident, probably not. I couldn't lie for shit.

This week had been eventful, at least for me as of late. Going back to school on Monday was stressful. But I was determined to not be sullen Bella. Mike's words on Friday made me smile. He was right; I did have friends, more than just Jacob. Of course I still missed Jacob and I worried about him but I still had Angela and now I knew that I could also count on Mike. It was really very sweet of him to take the time out to bring me my homework and before that my check and the soup his mom made. I would have to remember to thank her when I went back to work, next week. I had called and told her that I was feeling much better and could come back to work anytime. She, in return, left me a message saying that she had already set the schedule for this week but would put me on for extra hours next week.

Monday I took the leap and sat with everyone at the table, stopping to smile at Mike in thanks for his words, which I didn't get a chance to do because he fled as soon as I could. I mostly just listened to everyone else talk but I enjoyed the atmosphere. Tuesday was amusing. I spent most of lunch giggling quietly with Angela at Jessica's antics. If she shoved her chest any further out she would break her back. Mike, finally getting fed up with the amount of silicone being shoved in his face got up to leave, not even half way through lunch. He smiled and waved at me and I waved back, giving him a slight nod letting him know I understood. Jessica spent the rest of lunch glaring at me and mumbling about how some people wouldn't know a good thing if it jumped up and bit him in the ass. I choked on my milk at that. I am not sure what good thing she was talking about but I hope it wasn't herself. A catty thought maybe but apparently the silicone in her breast has infected her personality as well.

That night I went home feeling good and thought I would make a casserole to take over to Jake's. It's been a couple of weeks since I heard from him and I was really worried about him. I fixed my famous thanksgiving casserole, making a big enough batch for Charlie and me to have some as well.

_After I had packed it up along with a nice green salad with a balsamic vinaigrette dressing, I hopped in my car and drove the familiar road to La Push._

_I got out the car, casserole in hand, just as the front door opened. Out walked a tall Native American man with short cropped hair and built_ like a shit brick house. Following behind him was a line of boys that looked just like him, four of them. The last one out the door made me catch my breath.

"_Jake?" I gasped looking at him. My heart sped up as I took in the changes in him now from when I saw him two weeks ago. They all looked at me with varying looks from shock, to sadness to anger. I took a step closer only to be stopped by the voice of one of them, the third one in line, shouting at me. _

"_What the fuck are you doing here, leach lover?" he spat out making me jump and stare at him. His jaw was clenched along with his hands and his form was shaking as he glared at me hatefully. _

"_I…I… I came to check on Jake. I knew he had been sick so I had him…" my voice faded out under his piercing gaze. _

"_Nobody wants you here. You have caused enough trouble. Just leave. Leave and don't…" he started but was stopped about a louder, stronger voice. _

"_Paul, enough." The first man said. I noticed he was taller than the others and seemed to exude some kind of power over them. The one named Paul seemed to debate whether to say anything more or not. But turned abruptly and marched into the woods. The others were now staring at Jake who had yet to say anything only stared at me. I took another step closer to him._

"_Jake, what happened to you?" I asked coming within arm's reach of him. "I was so worried about you." I told him reaching out to touch him but he stepped back away from me and shook his head. I slowly pulled my hand back hurt by the obvious rejection._

"_What are you doing here Bella?" he asked in a voice I wasn't familiar with. It was hard and menacing. I couldn't understand why. _

"_I… I just came to check on you and bring you some food. Charlie said that Billie said you were still sick so I made you and Billie a casserole." I told him showing him the covered dish. He shook his head and his eyes softened immediately. _

"_You shouldn't have… you didn't need to… you should go Bella." He said turning his back on me. _

"_Jake wait. What is going on? I can see you are not sick anymore. Why haven't you returned any of my calls? I have been worried sick." _

_He sighed and looked towards his house. I looked and saw Billie on the porch looking concerned. I saw Jacob's back stiffen out of the corner of my eyes before he turned to face me with a different expression. It was colder, and unfamiliar. I didn't like it. _

"_Bella. You need to leave. Now." He told me before brushing past me and heading into the forest where the other boys had gone. _

"_Why? I don't understand. What is going on? Where are y going?" I stumbled toward him only to stop when he whirled around and looked at me. _

"_Bella just go. You can be around me anymore. I can't be around you anymore." He growled. I saw his hands clench and his body start to tremor. _

"_But, you promised." I pleaded in a small voice. My heart felt like it was braking again. Just because I didn't love him the way he wanted me to didn't mean I didn't love him. _

"_Well I lied." He shouted before running his hand through his now short hair. An image of that same move haunted my mind except that this image was thinner, short and had copper colored hair and the hand running through it was white and glittering slightly. _

_My breath caught in my throat along with my heart that was thudding painfully against my rib cage. I struggled to hold onto the dish when all I really wanted to do was hold myself together. My eyes stung as I blinked back the inevitable tears. _

"_You lied?" I whispered back. _

"_Yeah, I mean. I didn't mean to it's not like I wanted to…" _

"_You lied." I said stronger. _

"_Bella. I do care about you, but things have been crazy lately and I think it would just be better if we weren't friends anymore. I'm sorry." His shoulders sagged in what looked like defeat. I nodded and wiped the wetness from my cheeks. _

"_It's okay Jacob. I get it. Everybody leaves me eventually. It's my fault really. I keep looking for something I was never meant to have."_

"_No Bella that's not it. That's not it at all. I don't want to do this. But I have to let you go. It's complicated; I wish I could tell you but…" _

"_No it's okay. I get it. Complicated. Don't worry about me. I understand enough. I won't bother you ever again. You have a nice life Jacob. Be happy that's all I ever wanted for you. I'm sorry wasn't enough." I told him. _

_I turned and walked up to the porch handing Billie the casserole. _

"_Bella, are you alright?" Billie asked me. _

'_I'm fine." I told him robotically. "It is still warm so y should have to reheat it. It also freezes well if you want to put some of it away for a rainy day. I will have Charlie come pick up the dish when you are done. I don't think I will be back down here. Ever." I told him. _

_I turned and walked quickly to my car. Jacob grabbed my arm on the way and opened his mouth to say something only to stop when a howl sounded in the woods. He let me go and I hopped I my truck and sped away. _

_I went home I ate a quiet dinner with Charlie, him throwing me side long glances in worry. After I had finished the dishes I went straight to bed and cried. I woke up Wednesday depressed all I wanted to do was stay in bed but I knew if I did that then Charlie would really start to worry and I had put him through enough. So I went to school. I kept to myself, even sitting outside at the picnic table by myself. I couldn't help but replay the night before. Thinking maybe I was just meant to be alone. I mean if my best friend, someone I knew since childhood could leave me so quickly without thinking then maybe it was just me. _

"_Bella?" I soft voice called bring my attention to the present. Angela was sitting next to me, her brow wrinkled and a frown on her face. "Is everything okay? You have been quiet all day. Did something happen?"_

"_Yeah, I'm fine." I mustered up a smile that I knew not only didn't fool her but couldn't stay on my face the length of time it took to lie to her. "No, no I'm not." I sighed. She wrapped an arm around me and pulled me into a half hug._

"_You know if you need to talk I will be happy to lend you an ear." She said in all sincerity. _

_That's what I like about Angela she was a true friend through and through. So I did something I haven't permitted myself to do since everything began. I ranted. I told her everything, minus the supernatural aspect of it all. I told her about moving here, finding the Cullens, I told her about the best summer of my life. I told her about my birthday leaving out the accident. I told her about walking with Edward into the woods and being left there. I told her about being found and about finding out that Edward had went into my room and taken every reminder of him and his family from me. _

_I told her how I felt with my months of depression and about becoming friends with Jacob again. I even told her about my attempt at finding dangerous activities. I made her laugh when I told her about the movie date with Mike and Jacob and got a sympathetic hug when I told her about being worried about Jacob after getting sick. I ended with telling her about the previous night and telling her that I was starting to feel like maybe I was just meant to be alone. _

"_Oh Bella you can't let these past few events keep you from living your life. I can tell you now that you are not meant to be alone. Maybe they were not the right person for you." She reasoned. I shrugged and shook my head. _

"_Look Bella. I can't tell you that the things you have been through haven't been horrible and you have earned the right to mourn for your lost relationships and I even understand the hit to your confidence. I just honest believe that things happen for a reason. All the things we go through in our lives lead us to the path that we are meant to take in life. I believe that you being here in Forks, meeting the Cullens and them leaving was all necessary. But now I think it is time for you to move on and be happy again. Don't let those few events bring you down so far that you can't get back up. You still have friends here. You got me and Ben and you got Mike. Trust me I don't think there is anything that will remove that boy from Team Bella." She smirked and rolled her eyes. I giggled and nudged her gently with my shoulder. _

"_You are probably right. You he's been a really good friend lately. And just this past weekend he told me that if I ever need a shoulder to cry on that I could come to him, even if I don't feel for him what he feels for me." I told her with a smile. _

"_See, there you go. As far as Jacob goes…" she mused. "I would say, give it time. Something major must be going on with him. I don't think he would just abandon you for no reason and a really good reason at that. Besides didn't you say that his father and your father were best friends?" I nodded. "Then I am sure that whatever is going on will blow over and you will be friends again. _

"_I doubt it Ang. You didn't see him; hear how he said those things." _

"_True. Maybe I just have faith that the boy who helped bring you back to us is not totally gone from your life. Just give it time Bella. Everything will work out, you'll see. And if for some reason I am wrong and you and Jacob won't be friends again then you still have me and Ben, and of course you ever present shadow right now, Mike."_

"_Shadow." I snorted. _

"_Look in the cafeteria Bella." She chuckled. I looked and saw Mike staring at the two of us in concern. When he noticed me looking he gave a sheepish smile and wave and being caught. I waved back. I could also see Jessica glaring between us. I rolled my eyes turning my attention back to Angela. We both burst into laughter at the truth and ridiculousness of it all. _

After our little talk I started to feel better again. Thursday I sat with everyone again and enjoying myself. As soon as I had sat down Angela leaned over and whispered that if Jessica kept glaring her face would get stuck like that. I responded, forget getting stuck if she doesn't stop turning red, she's going to have an aneurism. We both laughed before joining in on the rest of the conversation. I took a minute to smile at Mike before he left for a meeting. I rolled my eyes at Jessica, again then continued on talking to Eric and his girlfriend Katie, who was as cute as a button and sweet as pie.

It was today's events that led me to cliff. I had no plans to jump, screw that. But sitting here overlooking the water was peaceful and gave me time to think. I had taken out my iPod, something I hadn't done in a long time and was surprised it still had battery power, and was flipping through it to see what I was in the mood for. Hmmm…. maybe some Kelly. Yeah she understood me. Setting it on shuffle, I shoved it into my jacket pocket.

I was bopping along to 'Since You Been Gone', I accidentally bumped it in my pocket and it stopped. I was just about to switch it back when the first words hit me. I listened to the song three times. The first two times just listening without thinking. By the third time around I realized that this song had been my life since I met them. This is exactly how it was with them.

_**It's like you're a drug/It's like you're a demon I can't face down…**_

Edward once told me that I was his drug. That I was like his own personal brand of heroin. Thinking back on that now realize that if I am like his personal drug then couldn't the same be said of him for me? Looking back I can see that I clung a little too much to him and his family. That soon I had started not to feel right unless he was with me all the time.

_**It's like I'm stuck/It's like I'm running from you all the time/And I know I let you have all powers like/The only company I seek is misery all around…**_

I let him have too much power over me. I let him and Alice control every aspect of my life. From what I wore to how I talked, to what friends I had to what I ate. It got to the point that before I did anything, before I decided anything even something so small and simple as spending the night hanging out with my father I looked to them for advice. How messed up is that?

_**It's like you're a leech…**_

Yeah…I am so not going down that path.

_**Sucking the life from me…**_

I do wonder if it was more my blood that he loved then me. Well that and the fact that with me he could have complete silence. He used to joke every time he inhaled deeply that he was enjoying the bouquet without sampling the wine. But how much of that bouquet could he possible enjoy if it set his throat on fire. I am starting to think that he really was a masochist.

_**It's like I can't breathe…**_

I remember all too well that hole in the middle of my chest. Even now I can feel it there but it's not as gaping a wound as it had been a month ago, net even a week ago. That feeling that my lungs, my heart had been ripped from my body, the feeling of not being able to breathe, gasping for any breath that would come to me.

_**Without you inside of me**_

And he was inside of me, not in the physical sense, but in my heart and my head he was always there. The voices in my head lent to that truth. I couldn't move past him, I wouldn't allow myself. He told me one he was the ultimate predator, that everything about him drew me in, his smell his voice. I clung to him with everything in me. I still cling to him, but…why?

_**And I know I let you have all the power…**_

So very true.

_**And I realize I'm never gonna quit you over time**_

I don't believe that now. Before when it was still fresh, then I would have said that I was never going to get over him, that I was never going to find another, because he was my one true love. But now I don't think I believe that. He was my first love, and up to now my only love. But now I think it is time to love myself, to become Bella again. Angela was right all these things happened for a reason. I needed these learning experiences to become who I am meant to be. To appreciate the life that I was given.

_**It's like I can't breathe/It's like I can't see anything/Nothing but you/I'm addicted to you/It's like I can't think/Without you interrupting me/In my thoughts/In my dreams/You're taking over me/It's like I'm not me/It's like I'm not me…**_

I gave up all that made me Isabella Swan. I was always independent; I had to be with Renee. I was always the one taking care of others, making sure everyone else had what they need. But with the Cullens' I became the child, that couldn't think or act on her own or for herself. Bella's too fragile to be off on her own even for one night, in her home with her police chief father. Bella's too fragile to think for herself. We need to make decisions for her and not let her in on them until they actually come to fruition… well fuck that!

_**It's like I'm lost/It's like I'm giving up slowly…**_

For a while that is exactly what I did. I gave up on everything. It took an ultimatum from Charlie and friendship for Jacob to make me live again and I will forever be grateful for that.

_**It's like you're a ghost that's haunting me/Leave me alone…**_

The dreams were the worse. It was always Edward's voice and I was always trying to find him. He was always just within reach but still not…

_**And I know these voices in my head/Are mine alone…**_

I still feel guilty for the beginning parts of my friendship with Jacob. I used him and I hate myself for it. Edward's voice was a constant when I was putting myself in danger and what could be more dangerous than motorcycles with a teenage boy, though I do admit that they were fun.

_**And I know I'll never change my ways/If I don't give you up now…**_

Yes. That's what I need to do. I need to give him up, give them all up. I needed… I needed…

_**It's like I can't breathe/It's like I can't see anything/Nothing but you/I'm addicted to you/It's like I can't think/Without you interrupting me/In my thoughts/In my dreams/You're taking over me/It's like I'm not me/It's like I'm not me…**_

_**I'm hooked on you/I need a fix/I can't take it/Just one more hit/I promise I can deal with it/I'll handle then quit it/Just one more time then that's it/Just a little bit more/To get me through this**_

_**It's like I'm not me/It's like I'm not me…**_

I won't be me again… Bella Swan... until I get closure.

I turned off my music, got up from my spot and marched back to my truck. I drove home long enough to drop my bag off and write a letter to Charlie telling him that I was going to be home late. Leaving my room I tripped over air again and fell flat face. I turned over and saw that I had not tripped over air but over a loose floor board. Great, my shoe string was stuck underneath it. I would have to have Charlie fix this. I yanked on my foot trying to yank the string out when the floor board came up completely. Underneath it was a manila envelope. Huh, I guess I found Charlie's hiding place. Giggling I peeked into the envelope hoping I wasn't uncovering his secret porn stash, though why he would hide that in my room was beyond me.

I gasped as I saw the contents, moving to my knees I dumped everything on my bed. I saw red as I sorted through everything. It was all here, the cd, the pictures, the plane tickets and the jewelry box. All the things he supposedly took with him in an attempt to erase him and his family from my life. But here it all was. There was a thick layer of dust on it all but it was here. He promised, he swore it would be like he never existed. I have searched, trying any and everything to bring the memory of him back to me and it was all here, all within my fingertips. Why? Why would he do this, hide these things in my room? How cruel could someone be? It just made me more determined to do what I planned to do. Shoving everything back inside I rushed downstairs, leaving the note to Charlie, grabbed one more thing I would need and my wallet and keys and leaving.

I drove the familiar drive to my destination music blasting, this time 'Stronger' by Christina Aguilera. When I finally got there I got out and just looked. It hadn't changed, much like the previous occupants. It stood tall, beautiful and majestic looking, only the grass and weeds growing wildly around it showing the neglect. I walked up the stairs and looked into the window. Everything was covered and the piano was missing. I tried the door and found it open.

Walking in I noticed that the air was stale, stagnant. There were no traces of the hominess, I use to smell here. Pictures flashed before my eyes. Me watching TV with Emmett, Rosalie's vicious glares, avoiding Alice's attempts to dress my up like a freaking Barbie doll, listening to Edward play and snuggling against him when spending time with the whole family. All the meals that Esme use to cook for me, and even Carlisle patching me up after one of my many spills. I smiled at the memories. Even with my revelation and them being gone I couldn't say that I didn't miss them, and cherish all of the fun I use to have here.

With a sigh I walked through the house, starting with the first floor, I saw all the memories as if there were happening right now, but I also saw all the after effects, there was nothing of real purpose left in this house. Heading up the stairs I went to one room and one room only, his. The only thing left there was the couch I use to sleep on when I stayed and one picture turned face done on the floor. I picked it up and saw that it was one of us, me and him sitting on the sun room. I was in his lap and his arms were wrapped tightly around me. I was leaned back against him smiling widely for the camera all the while blushing. I don't remember when this was taken because I hadn't been paying attention to the camera only the man with whom I was wrapped up in. I knew now that the images I conjured on my own did not do him justice. He was beautiful that is all there was to it. He was perfect in every way shape and form. But… now I knew that he wasn't perfect for me. I could look at this picture and remember all the love I had for him but I could also now really let him go.

Taking the picture with me, I walked back down the stairs and headed back to my truck. I grabbed the envelope that I had brought with me, tucked the picture safely under my seat and walked around to the back of the house. I shook my head at the state of Esme's garden. She would be so upset about that, she took pride in her gardens. I dumped everything into the fire pit they kept back there for when we would sit around together in the yard. I saw the pictured scattered and shook my head. They were my family, I loved them. They tried so hard to fit in with humans, but it was never enough. I found that I actually felt sorry for them now.

"You know when I first came here, I was angry. I was prepared to shout, to tell you even if you can't really hear me, how much I now hated you all, tell you all what your leaving actually did to me. But… now that I am here I just feel very sad, not for me but for you. Because for all your pretending and trying, you could never really fit in. I feel sad that even with all your money and intelligence and decades of experience, you could never really be accepted in our world, That you would forever be lurking in the shadows, just on the fringes of society, no matter what you do.

All the time I was with you and when you left I felt like I was just a charity case for you all, that it was just pity that was making you all want to include me. But now I understand that I never needed your pity. I kind of pity you all. Alice, you as much as you wanted to mingle with the humans and experience things the way we do you would never be able to because y just don't really belong. Carlisle, I respect the fact that you dedicate your life to healing humans, but in your case the consequence outweighs the benefit. You could never really be recognized in the medical community because it would cause problems for you and your family. There are no thank you's for everything that you have done, not really. Because though you heal them, humans still shy away from you.

Esme, you will never know how sorry I am for the loss of your son and your human life. Not because you could have had more children but because when you were changed you were still considered a mother, you had only just lost your son; your instincts never had the chance to fade away. So you are eternally a mother first and everything else second. That wouldn't be a bad thing except that the people you consider your children are all married adults and soon may want to start their own household. I don't know how you will react to that. So I feel sorry for you because of that.

Rose, I never knew what your problem was with me only that you were upset that I was human and you weren't. I don't fully believe that is all of it but even if that is part of it. Then I feel sorry for you because you have this amazing family that loves you and a wonderful man that would walk on hot coals for you and yet you dwell on what you can't have. I hope one day you can open your eyes to all the possibilities that you long life can offer you.

Jasper and Emmett, well most I just feel sorry that you are stuck with Alice and rose for the rest of your existences." I giggled. "But honestly, Jasper I hope soon you can become comfortable with who you are. You deserve that. I don't know your history just that it was a hard for you. Emmett, I miss you brother bear and I just feel sorry that I won't be there to see what more trouble you can get yourself into.

"Finally Edward. You have no idea how much I miss you. I loved you from the moment I saw you, I just knew you would be a part of my life. But you threw all that away. You were scared and confused and I get that. But I feel sorry because you can never truly let go and be who you are. You are so wrapped up in your control that you can't see anything else. I feel sorry that you will never truly be happy until you learn to live." I stepped back and lit a match.

"I loved this family and wanted nothing more than to be a part of it. I truly wanted to be with your family. But looking back on it all after you left, I realize that you never really wanted me to be. You say you loved me but apparently not enough to stay, or even to say goodbye. Well this in my goodbye. I wish you all the very best in this life and the next. I hope you all truly find whatever it is you are looking for." I tossed the match into the pit and watched as most of my memories turned into ash.

I took a deep breath and closed my eyes, smiling. I felt lighter, happier now. Though it wasn't the traditional way and I never truly got to talk to face to face, I did finally get my goodbye and that was all that matters, now I can move on with my life. I wondered if Alice could see any of this.

"Well, that was heartwarming. Kind of a Kodak moment if you will." A velvety voice said from in front of me. I gasped and my eyes snapped open.

I was met with two sets of eyes, both of them inhuman.

* * *

**A/N. Well what did you think? Which did you like better? next chapter coming up today or tomorrow not sure which yet. Leave me a line people. **


	5. IMPORTANT AN

**REALLY IMPORTANT. PLEASE READ!**

I know I haven't updated in a very long time this story or my others. Honestly I don't have an excuse except that I lost the plot on them. I mean I know what I want to do with them but I am stuck as far as the next chapter for them. Maybe I am trying to do to much writing three stories for fanfic and working on

my original story to publish. So I am asking for your guys opinion.

I am putting up a poll. I want you guys to vote on which story you want me to continue now besides A New Life (because that is the only story that I seem to be doing fine on now. So it will between my other three stories.).

I want you to vote so I will know which one to update with ANL. The third and fourth place will be worked on together as soon as I am done with BOTH of my first two.

Sorry for leaving you guys hanging but seriously I think I am just trying to do too much as once and need to cut back before I end up saying screw it all and delete all my stories. I hope no one wants me to do that.

I will keep this pole up for three weeks at which time I will let you all know the results with a post of the voted upon story.

Please help me make this decision because I truly love all my story ideas and have a good idea that you will love them all.

Thanks for the support.

Love,

Nikki


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